She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize