You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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