college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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