There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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