1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
