This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
