oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize