so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
