There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
