will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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