The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
