I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
