Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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