By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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