I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
