I won't be sarcastic... just naked
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
