So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
