Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
