just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize