Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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