No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
