people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize