Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
