i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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