i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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