I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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