I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
