kristin has been a bad kristin
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
