So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
