Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
