Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
