I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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