I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize