this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
they call him Oral-B. enough said
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
