just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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