Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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