You can't special order awesome
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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