i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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