Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize