Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
