have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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