I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
