i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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