Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
