You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
