i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
