i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
