he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
