someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
