How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
