If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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