Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
