Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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