that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
