Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
