You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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