And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
