My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
