i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
