yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
