finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
