im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Randomize
