is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
operation have a gay friend backfired
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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