Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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