Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
