this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
