you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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