we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
