I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
