you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize