i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
