don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
