so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
