her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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