I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
