but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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