I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
