I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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