you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
