I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
